A few weeks ago, on a bright and crisp fall day, I headed to mass with a particularly restless heart. I was counting the minutes to get to mass and give all my worries to God. I knelt down in the first pew and started asking God to help me “fix” a problem. This was not any problem; this was and is a major concern and a huge worry – one that keeps me awake many nights and that takes away my peace more often than I care to admit.
I had prayed to God for this “problem” many times, over many years, except this time at church I heard a clear voice: “Why do you want to change my plan? What is there to fix?
You see, that thought had not crossed my mind. I had been asking God to change His plan! I had worried for so long for something that He had designed, something he had chosen for me. I felt so ungrateful. So selfish. How had I not thought about the fact that this is all God’s plan, and his plan is always better than mine, whether I understand it or not. I also felt immense relief and happiness. I felt comfort knowing that what I had seen as a problem was in fact part of God’s plan and everything was going to happen according to his plan.
A mere 30 minutes later, after Communion, I was tempted again to pray for the “fix,” but I stopped quickly and remembered my earlier exchange with God. Many times, it is not easy to trust God’s plan. I am so used to wanting things my way! In my human arrogance it is easy to think that I know what’s best for me.
When I look back on my life, God’s plan has always been better than mine. Always. Yet the will of trusting God’s plan, in my case, is a daily commitment, sometimes an hourly commitment, and I constantly must remind myself that God knows better, even if I don’t understand his plan. As we find in Proverbs 3:5-6, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart; don’t rely on your own intelligence. Know him in all your paths, and he will keep your ways straight.”
Maria Eugenia was born in Caracas, Venezuela, the oldest of four siblings. She lives in Bolton, Massachusetts with Alex, her husband of 22 years, and Rocky, their 2-year old French Bulldog. Alex and Maria Eugenia are parents to twin boys Carlos and Luis, 18, both college freshmen. Maria Eugenia was raised in a Catholic family, though her Catholic faith had not always been present in her life. Maria Eugenia was inspired by Christina’s journey and by the beautiful way in which her parents and close friends choose to maintain her legacy. Christina’s faith has reframed her perspective of life and has given her a newfound source of strength and purpose.