Waiting Impatiently
In my personal list of virtues, you’d have to bow your eyes pretty low to find the word ‘patience.’ Growing up, the expression ‘we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it’ was used more often than ‘go brush your teeth’ or ‘what’s the magic word?’ It was evident from a young age that my desire to speed ahead to the good part was always going to overshadow any ability to savor the process.
Naturally, therefore, the Advent season always has and continues to feel like absolute torture. It ranks last on my list of favored liturgical seasons. No four candles, one by one weekly ignited, bringing light into darkness, can slow an overly-eager heart. For those of us who struggle with forbearance, Advent can feel like a litmus test of holiness; and, spoiler alert, we who are void of stoicism rarely achieve impressive results.
The rose candle is the biggest offender. On this, Gaudete Sunday, the Church lights that special pink candle to remind us to find joy in the waiting. That candle feels like stacking ‘unreasonable’ on top of ‘improbable.’ Please don’t misunderstand me, joy is readily available always, but to find joy in waiting is another matter!
In today’s first reading, the prophet Zephaniah exhorts shouting, singing and exaltation. The passage begins with fireworks of explosive joy! It isn’t until the future tense of verbs begin to creep in (He will rejoice over you with gladness and renew you in his love. He will sing joyfully because of you, as one sings at festivals) that the reader begins to understand that Zephaniah is speaking of something that is to come, something not yet fully revealed. Joy in waiting is clearly at the heart of his prophecy.
But, how? How do we find joy in a state of being that, for some of us, feels so uncomfortable? What should we do?
In today’s Gospel, John the Baptist may give the impatient among us a hint about what to do with all this eager energy. To anxious crowds, also asking ‘what should we do?’ The Forerunner exhorts: ‘share your cloak,’ ‘collect only what is needed,’ ‘be honest,’ ‘be satisfied,’ and remember ‘the one who is mightier is coming!’
John the Baptist highlights that while we wait, we needn’t wait. While we wait for the coming of the Reign of God, we needn’t wait to build up the Reign of God. One cloak at a time, one candle at a time, the work of the gospel is in the incompleteness of the present. The imperfection of impatience can call us to action. In the building up, the very waiting itself, we may see small sparks of light that resemble fireworks of joy amidst the discomfort. We may get a glimpse into the vast completeness of our incarnate God, loving us with complete joy even in our impatience.
Kelly Meraw is the Director of Liturgy, Music, and Pastoral Care for St. John – St. Paul Collaborative in Wellesley, Massachusetts. Kelly earned her Master’s Degree from McGill University, where during her undergraduate studies, she was received into the Catholic Church through the RCIA program at St. Patrick’s Basilica in Montreal, Canada. Kelly brings her deep love of scripture, liturgy, music, and devotion to Church teaching and tradition to her ministry.
In her parishes she leads bible studies; organizes faith sharing circles and social justice initiatives; leads communion, wake and committal services; offers adult faith enrichment programming; and shepherds bereavement ministries.
Currently she finds the undeniable movements of the Holy Spirit and great hope in the process of living as a deeply listening Church. After this first session of the Synod on Synodality she will continue to engage in the communal discernment process offering fulsome and inclusive ways to serve the Church’s current Synod.
