In the Presence of Holiness
Invariably, as human beings, we fail to recognize the value of others – until it is too late. When I went through my studies for the permanent diaconate, without knowing it, I spent almost five years with such a person. His name was Larry.
For four and a half years, two nights a week, fifteen men gathered at Saint Mary’s Parish in New Bedford for an education that would lead eventually to us being ordained permanent deacons. Among the group was Larry—a quiet man, not one to draw attention to himself. Yet there was one thing about Larry that really bothered me. You see, at Saint Mary’s, the chairs were metal and uncomfortable—except for one. One chair was taller and perfect for using a computer. It had arm rests, a cushioned seat and a beautiful backrest that conformed to one’s back. I loved that chair. So did Larry. If he got there first, he claimed it. If I got there first, I did.
For four and a half years, we competed, silently, for that one chair. Eventually, we were ordained and we all went to our various assignments. Larry was assigned to Saint Joseph’s in Attleboro. Time passed and about a year later, we received an email from Larry. Larry had been diagnosed with stage four pancreatic cancer. We were stunned. A few days later, we gathered to pray with him at Saint Joseph’s.
Larry stood, weak but composed. He said the only thing we could pray for now was a miracle. Three weeks later, the miracle didn’t come. Larry died. At his wake, for some reason, I was asked, unexpectedly, to say a few words. Words for which I hadn’t prepared. All I could think of was the chair story. So, I told it. People smiled and really enjoyed hearing it, but the next day, at the funeral Mass, something happened. One by one, Larry’s six siblings stood up to speak. As I listened, I realized, I had never really known Larry. After their father died suddenly, Larry, at just seventeen years old and the oldest child, became the father figure for the family.
He coached the kids in sports. He helped them with schoolwork. He guided them through First Communion and Confirmation. When the girls wanted to be cheerleaders, Larry drove them to practice and, from what I understand, even coached them! He walked his sisters down the aisle at their weddings.
He was, in every sense, the foundation of that family. For fifteen minutes, they spoke about a man of extraordinary love, sacrifice, faith and quiet strength. I sat there thinking: “I just saw him as the guy who took my chair.” I had completely missed the greatness of the man sitting right next to me for four and a half years… and now, it was too late.
It’s easy to recognize Christ throughout the Gospels and maybe even in some people of our choosing. Our challenge, as Christians, is to scratch the surface, dig deeper and recognize the true Christ in all people.
We need to take the time… time to notice… time to reach out… time to say what needs to be said. Is there someone in your life you take for granted? Someone who supports you, cares for you, loves you quietly? Someone whose goodness you have simply gotten used to? Do not wait, because we have one chance—and it is now.
Jesus says, “Seek and you shall find.” The goodness of God is present in so many people around us. If we seek it, we will find it and, if we recognize it—truly recognize it—we may just discover that we are standing in the presence of someone very holy.
Deacon Brendan Brides , a native of Ireland, was educated by the Presentation Brothers in Cork City, Ireland. Deacon Brendan emigrated to the United States in 1986. Shortly thereafter, he met his wife, Gail. They married in the early nineties and have resided in Sandwich ever since. They have a son, Patrick, who grew up attending religious education and serving as an altar server for many years at Christ The King Parish. Patrick now serves in the United States Navy. Deacon Brendan worked for many years as a building contractor on Cape Cod where he oversaw the construction of many fine houses in his career. In 2013 he decided to accept a position as building commissioner for a local municipality. He continues in that position today.
After his ordination by Bishop Coleman to the permanent diaconate in 2013, Brendan was transferred to Saint Johns in Pocasset. He spent six and a half years there serving the people of Bourne. He and his wife Gail returned to Christ the King in 2021 and although they sincerely miss the great people of Saint Johns, they are very happy to be back at their home parish of Christ the King. Besides being active at Christ the King, Deacon Brendan is currently a mentor for gentleman that is going through the permanent deacon program and he is also actively involved in assessing the latest class of applicants to the permanent diaconate for the Diocese of Fall River.
