Faith: The Antidote for Doubt

Leiri Bocanegra was born in Villalba, Puerto Rico but now resides in Massachusetts with her Husband and four children. Leiri and her husband Gustavo met in their parish youth group, “Agape,” and have been serving together ever since! You can usually find them singing together at church events and retreats! Leiri works as the Coordinator of Outreach and Evangelization for St. Mary’s Parish in Cambridge, Massachusetts. She also has a nursing background in both Geriatrics and Pediatrics. She has been a member of the Holy Family Institute for six years and enjoys Family Ministry. Her biggest accomplishment has been becoming a mother. She enjoys being able to use social platforms to help other Catholic mothers connect and assist one another through the wonderful vocation of motherhood!
Jesus asked his disciples, “And you, who do you say that I am?” (Matthew 16:15) There is a reason that after Peter’s response to Jesus that he is the Messiah, Jesus gives Peter the keys to the kingdom of heaven. It’s because Peter gets it. He understands that Jesus is God’s Son. The irony is, that Peter, the one to whom Jesus entrusted the Church, is known for his “little faith.” Peter, who was also known as Simon Peter or Cephas, became the first Pope. Even through the doubt and dismay, Jesus saw his heart. He saw Peter’s love for him and his true faith, just like he sees yours and mine. At one time or another, we have all undergone the consternation of our daily lives and the obstacles that come with living our faith. We have been insecure… unwilling… undeserving; yet Jesus entrusts every single one of us to live by faith.
There are so many stories about Peter that it is impossible to fully encompass them in this blog. Even so, let’s look at a few examples. In Luke Chapter 5, Peter meets Jesus. After not having luck with his fishing, Simon is told by Jesus to put out into deep water. Simon replies that they have worked hard all night long and caught nothing, but he does as Jesus commands him to do. Simon and his brother, Andrew, then catch so many fish that their nets begin to tear. After this, Peter follows Jesus, and his life is changed forever. Like Peter, though we doubt, when we believe the words of Jesus, we can learn truth and live by it. We can be transformed. Though Jesus’s words are as perplexing as they are powerfully inspiring and encouraging, believing Jesus is what unites us to him for all eternity.
Peter’s fortitude is again tested in Chapter 14 of Matthew’s Gospel. In verse 26 we learn that when Peter sees Jesus walking on the water, he is terrified. Jesus states, “Courage! It is I! Do not be afraid.” Peter answers, “Lord, if it is you, tell me to come to you across the water.” Jesus tells him to come, so Peter begins to walk toward Jesus on the surface of the water. It is not until he notices the wind that he begins to fear and cries, “Lord, save me!” Jesus grabs him and says, “You have so little faith, why did you doubt?” Much like Peter, I have also found myself having “little faith,” falling to my knees, and saying, “Leave me, Lord; I am a sinful woman.” Fear has taken over and doubt has overshadowed my heart. Faith in Jesus and trust in God’s plan bring me back from the abyss.
Another instance we can all recall is Peter’s denial of Jesus. Following his resurrection, Christ came before his disciples on the shore of the Sea of Galilee. John 21:12-23 describes this instance when Peter is given three chances to admit his love for Jesus, and each time he says he does. You see, Peter was not entrusted by God because he was fearless and an exemplary believer, he was entrusted by God because he genuinely believed that Jesus was the Messiah, the son of God. Oh, how many times have I denied Jesus?! I often look back at the bad judgements I have made, those things that have had lasting effects on my life or the lives of my loved ones. In hindsight, guilt can eat us alive. Even when God forgives us, we cannot seem to forgive ourselves. Fortunately, God’s love, mercy and trust are endless!
In our spiritual journeys we are faced with so many “Peter” moments; instances that make us feel undeserving, unqualified, unfit. Jesus knows our failings, but still loves us. Peter believed in Jesus and trusted him enough to let go of his failings once Christ forgave him. This is the hope we should live by. Jesus does not expect our perfection, but he does expect our belief and love. I cannot imagine not being a follower of Christ, can you? When Jesus is enthroned in our lives, he uses every single one of us to irrigate thirsty souls. He sends us, just like Peter, to cast our nets into the deep; despite how many times we have tried, he asks us once again to keep trying. Having faith also implies failing, but knowing that in God’s time all is aligned, even with our blemishes. May we all comprehend the love that flows from the hand of God! May we all live with sincere faith even through life’s toughest battles, trusting that God’s plans for us are greater than we can imagine!
All of Jesus’ disciples loved him, but it was because of Peter’s belief that Jesus built his Church on him. Faith is the antidote for doubt. It helps us to trust!