When God is Too Busy, He Sends You a Friend

I grew up in a very typical Hispanic family with lots of aunts, uncles, and cousins and, above anything formidable, grandparents whose only mission in life seemed to be to educate us and spoil us in equal measure. Like for many of you, I can say my childhood brings up very particular colors, flavors, smells, and sounds. I remember my grandmother’s colorful scarves, my grandfather’s wrinkled and steady hands and the intense scent of my godmother’s cologne. I remember the purple lollipops we got from my aunt, the smell of sweat and dirt from playing hide and seek with my cousins, and the sound of the door when my dad got home after a long day at work. I distinctly recall the color of my sister’s Hello Kitty strawberry lip gloss, the smell of my baby sister’s crib, and the sound of my mom’s voice.

Amongst all those wonderful memories there is one firmly ingrained in my senses and that is the smell of the candles that my grandmother had in a makeshift altar to the Sacred Heart of Jesus. As a little girl, that peculiar display caught my attention, so I decided to ask why, and her answer was, “To ask our Lord to send us a friend if he happens to be too busy.”

As an 8-year-old I remember thinking it was a funny way to ask for a friend. Plus, why would we need Jesus to send us a friend anyways? It turns out, God has the best friends, and the ones he sends us are perfectly suited for the particular moment in life we are going through.

When times get tough and I feel like giving up, God sends me friends who walk with me, push me to keep going and remind me that God is in charge. When life gets busy and work dominates my time, God sends me friends that remind me what success really is; they keep me humble and focused on life’s real triumphs.

I have had unexpected friends who have taught me not to take life so seriously, and whose perspectives on life are so, so, different from mine that they inadvertently have taught me to love and accept friends for who they are, and not for what I want them to be.

I also have friends who irritate me and drive me crazy, only for me to realize that their quirks and “bad habits” are the ones that I have been battling my entire life. They are God’s messengers to teach me humility, tolerance and patience.

And of course, I also have those who really were not friends, who somehow have wronged me. Yet, God put them in my way to teach me forgiveness, mercy and compassion.

Over the years I have learned to expect these special friends that God sends me. Sometimes I ask God for them when I don’t see things so clearly and struggle to find a solution. Other times they just show up to make me aware of something I didn’t know I needed. Yet always they bring God’s unique message depending on the situation. I can’t always recognize why God sent me a friend, and occasionally I don’t really welcome them with open arms, especially when they bring hard truths; but, in time, I can see how perfectly they fit into my life and how only God could have sent them, because only God knew what I was going through and what I needed.

I am working very hard to be one of God’s friends. I am trying to pay more attention to people who need to be seen, people who need help, acceptance and love. I have become more aware of ways to help others and put aside my selfishness and interests to support a friend, lighten their cross a little bit or simply be there. I keep my eyes wide open for those who need a hand, who are going through tough times or who need to be celebrated. I find myself intentionally looking for the underdog, for the one who wants to be invisible, or the one who looks sad. I want to reach out to the quiet one in the corner or the person who doesn’t make eye contact. I want to talk to the overwhelmed Mom in the grocery store or the overworked guy in the accounting department. I wonder what would happen if I complimented the nails of the girl at the drive through, or if I send a note to the young kid who stuttered during his presentation. Even though it sometimes can be challenging or bring me out of my comfort zone, almost all of these encounters bring me joy and teach me something, and many of them result in a longer interaction or deeper connection, however brief.

I ask God every day to call on me when he is too busy. I want to be one of those friends that he sends, like the ones he has sent to me, because even with all my imperfections and flaws, I will try my very best on his behalf.

“O divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek

To be consoled as to console,

To be understood as to understand,

To be loved as to love.”

~ Saint Francis of Assisi