Real Men Pray
A lot has been written about the crisis facing men and boys in 21st century America. In the last several decades women have benefited financially because of increased educational and professional opportunities, making it possible for them to either partner with their spouses or single-handedly provide for the economic needs of their children and family. At the same time, automation and the exporting of industrial work to cheaper labor markets have limited vocational opportunities for many men. For many generations men could have accurately described their role as “providers” for their families. This description may not seem accurate today, especially as women increasingly become primary breadwinners. Any thought that the best Catholic response is to suggest women don’t enter the workforce or achieve professional success lacks both economic and ecclesiological wisdom. Since the traditional role of “male provider” has changed, we need to ask ourselves as a community of faith: how can we encourage and empower men? I believe we need to be reminded of the importance of prayer and men in families courageously embracing the vulnerability required to lead us in our faith.
A lot of dads like to get involved in their children’s activities. On the flip side, unwillingness to attend our children’s games, recitals or plays is viewed critically. Few seem to care, however, if dads don’t get involved in their children’s spiritual development. Many of the readers of this blog have prayed with their children. Sharing the stories of our faith and praying openly and honestly is a life-changing witness for children. Prayer conveys a vulnerability that has nothing to do with the strong, silent-type male we see lauded in movies and the media., whose strength is often exhibited in violence and destruction. Prayer and praise are invitations to a different kind of strength. Our connection with God gives us the power to impact others. We can invoke divine protection for those we love and also anyone who needs help. This is powerful.
Obviously both moms and dads can teach their children that we are beloved sons and daughters of God. Having worked in faith formation for several decades, I’m aware that these days, the majority of the support comes from moms. I sincerely believe that if men understood their importance as guardians of the faith for their family and their community, this crisis of identity would be resolved. The “Real Men Cry” bumper sticker could easily be replaced by: “Real Men Pray.” Jesus is the obvious example of someone who centered on prayer throughout His life. Prayer unites us with the divine will. The crisis for men isn’t caused by the economic empowerment of women; it is a spiritual crisis and prayer is the answer.
Colm Is a Deacon in the Archdiocese of Boston and a prison Chaplain. He and his wife Julie have 4 adult children and 2 grandchildren. His Catholic faith has always been a central part of his family and work life and is a source of endless joy.
