Friendship
A few weeks ago in my country, we celebrated Friend’s Day. Argentines are well known for being very close friends, sometimes very intense, but always present in good and bad times!
I was wondering how to honor this particular quality of my culture when the readings of that Sunday’s Mass, enlightened my reflection.
The first reading for the day was Genesis 18:1-10 where Abraham, the friend of God, was an unwitting servant of the Holy Trinity. He was humble, gentle, attentive, and open, offering, with his wife and those in his household, what he had: food, company, service, and the shade of a tree.
The Gospel reading that same day was Luke 10:38-42, the story of Martha and Mary, Jesus’ friends, who always welcomed him into their home with joyful generosity. Each in her own way, was willing to go out of her way to please their friend, Jesus, in a true, discreet, and festive encounter.1
These two readings reminded me of Saint Thomas Aquinas’s Treatise on Friendship which I had read many years ago. There I learned the theory of friendship. Aristotle said that humans cannot live without friends, that friendship is a necessity for human life, and Saint Thomas Aquinas elaborated on this concept2 explaining that, in order to act virtuously, humans need the help of friends. Friends sense our sorrows and come to console us in simple fellowship, without needing to say many words. That is why friendship is noble and profound. True friendship arises from free choice based on a similarity of tastes, concerns, and desires, even if we sometimes don’t share the same activities. We are filled with joy through mutual enrichment. We feel understood and extended. Among friends, we help each other to be better, to be saints, because “alter ipse amicus”— my friend is another self. In this union between self and friend or “other self,” feelings are discerned, and secrets are discovered without profaning them, as if they were our own. In John 15:15, when Jesus tells his disciples that he does not call them servants but friends, he is trusting them to enter that sacred realm where only God has access. There, friends can savor the sweetness of present goodness, rejoice in past goodness, and taste the hope of future goodness. True friends pacify our souls. Friendship is a privilege, a communion of life; to find a friend is to find a treasure.3
Fortunately, God has placed many people in my path, and I have had the privilege of having a wonderful group of friends since my childhood. The girls and I communicate every day. What we think and feel is very important to all of us, and we are free to express ourselves. Three of us live in the USA, and two have already gone to the Father’s house. This daily communication provides us with a moment of rest and fellowship.4 It’s a way of saying things—sometimes without saying them—it’s a way of being open to whatever comes our way, whether it’s a comment, a question, a feeling of sadness, or sharing what’s happening in our homes, and of course, sharing photos of our grandchildren!
Over the past 24 years, I’ve lived in this country, with a different culture and language, but I’ve been blessed with precious friends, some of whom may be reading this blog. Saint Thomas said that the imperfect happiness of this world requires the indispensable presence of a friend because a friend soothes and sustains us, elevates and perfects us. Death can temporarily break a friendship, but in God’s beatific vision, the complement of happiness will be the presence of a friend. In eternity, when the final meeting blossoms and our coexistence is indestructible, we will achieve the perfection of friendship. I will die with the hope of that meeting.
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1 https://www.vatican.va/content/leo-xiv/es/angelus/2025/documents/20250720-angelus.html
2 Summa Theologica, 1-2, q.4, a.8.
3 Ecclesiastes 6:14-17
4 https://www.vatican.va/content/leo-xiv/en/homilies/2025/documents/20250720-omelia-albano.html
Paula Gómez Victorica was born in Buenos Aires, Argentina, and lived in Massachusetts from 2001 until December 2024. She is a Certified Spiritual Director and is trained in accompanying individuals through the Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius. She is currently completing a Graduate Certificate in Ignatian Spirituality at the Clough School of Theology and Ministry at Boston College, where she also taught Biblical Spirituality through asynchronous online courses.
For the past three years, she served as the Director of Faith Formation and Coordinator of the Hispanic Community at St. Ignatius Jesuit Parish. Since moving to San Antonio in 2025, Paula has continued her ministry as the Ministry and Liturgy Coordinator at a local parish and at the Oblate School of Theology (OST).
