Commencement Address Season

I have never given a commencement address. It seems to me to be different than writing a homily. Sound bites are more important, but of course the focus is on the graduating class and their aspirations for a happy and successful future. As Catholic Christians we know that our purpose is to be with God. Everything else pales in significance to this goal. 

Recently a young man delivered a commencement speech that engendered some controversy. The kicker for the Super Bowl winning Kansas City Chiefs recently spoke at a Catholic college about the importance of his Catholic faith. His ideas about the particular way he celebrates his faith were clearly deeply felt convictions. His sincerity was both evident and admirable. Catholic teaching develops under the guidance of the Holy Spirit and does not always fit easily in the context of a commencement speech. The controversy arose when the speaker seemed to suggest that women were being told lies if they were told anything other than that marriage and motherhood should be their main focus.

Though the Church definitely honors the role of women as wives and mothers, Scripture and Tradition are clear that regardless of vocation the call to universal holiness is our highest calling. Saint John Paul II, who was not a fan of the modern feminist movement, wrote that women should be immersed in all levels of society – social, economic, scientific, artistic and political. He believed that their presence helps bring about a more authentic expression of what we as a society endeavor to achieve. Rather than being female versions of masculine goal‑oriented achievement, he believed that women’s involvement helps make our advancements more inclusive and more humane. (Letter to Women, Pope John Paul II, June 29, 1995)

Because I have been a Church employee for most of my adult life, my wife has consistently earned at least twice my salary. There is no question that her role in our family far exceeds that of “breadwinner.” As a wife, mother and “Nanna,” she is our family’s rock. There has never been any suggestion that her career would take priority over her family. Navigating life is not easy though, so we need God’s help; but the associated challenges and frustrations we all face don’t make for the kind of appealing sound bites that end up in a commencement speech. 

We need to remember that God created us to be the best versions of ourselves and there are many ways to go about this with regard to family and career.  Choices will vary with economic necessity. We want to be guided in these choices by God’s will; so, rather than suggest that one path in life is better than another, I continue to humbly pray in the words of Thomas Merton for a discerning heart:

MY LORD GOD, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think that I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you.